Congratulations you are Paper Pregnant!

I heard the term paper pregnant this week. I was curious what that meant. Well, a lot of adoptive parents use that term when they are waiting on their adopted child to come home, much like an expectant mother awaits the birth of her child.

So, I am pregnant!  Words I thought I would never get to say in my lifetime. While I may not be pregnant physically, we are mentally expecting. Paper pregnant! 

I may not know what my baby will look like, his or her gender or race but he or she is already loved immensely. I may not be actually pregnant, but I like the term "paper pregnant" because even though I am not carrying my baby in my tummy I am carrying them in my heart.

I am in this nesting phase where I want the nursery to be perfect but I can't really decorate until we receive our referral and know the gender. I started the babies library with books I saved from when I was a child and some Dr. Seuss classics.

A lot of the time they say that it is human nature to fear the unknown,  although I know this is going to be tough I am so much more excited than afraid. I give God the credit for that. He has given me peace. The only thing I really know for absolutely positively certain is that His hand is on this.

So for now I am paper pregnant.  Kevin thinks that is a really corny phrase, to me it is such a hopeful phrase. I agree it maybe a little cheesy but I like it and I am sticking to it.

A couple of paper pregnant t-shirts I saw were: 
"Am I showing yet? The answer is on my face not my belly"
Also:
" No morning sickness yet, but the paper cuts are terrible !"
Also:
"Mom to be: We just don't know when!"

I know those are silly but cute. It's nice to be able to laugh through the stress of waiting. A quote I saw on another blog put it perfectly :

Steps in the adoption process:
1. Drown in paperwork
2. Eat chocolate
3. Stalk postal worker
4. Act irrational
5. Wait
6. Wait some more!

So patience may not be a strength for me but I have a feeling through this process God is trying to teach me to be patient and to wait on His timing. We have the names picked out for a boy it will be Maddox Liam Barnard and for a girl Mackenzie Rose Barnard. I talk to Maddox and Mackenzie all of the time and tell them its time to come home, Mommy and Daddy are waiting with open arms and hearts to welcome them. Hurry home baby we can't wait to meet you.

Love,
Shannon